Every Monster in Every World is Begging for My Hugs

Bai Yao has been cast as the ultimate “villainess” across a series of nightmare realms: a girl with a face like an angel, a heart full of greed, and absolutely zero survival skills. After dropping a single cryptic directive – “Capture” – into her brain, her System lost its signal and went radio silent.

But Bai Yao knows the tropes. She’s read the novels. Obviously, “Capture” means she needs to find the most tragic, broken man in the room and make him fall in love with her, right?

Whenever she spots someone radiating a deep, crimson glow, she assumes she’s found her target. And so, the “romance” begins:

In a haunted boarding school, she “rescues” a shy, bullied boy. She tutors him, brings him flowers, and drags him into the cursed art room for secret, midnight make-out sessions.

In a death-trap abandoned hospital, she saves a frail youth who was abandoned as dead weight. She showers him with supplies and top-tier gear, hiding with him in cramped lockers for long, stolen kisses.

On a monster-infested island, she finds a writhing, tentacled black mass. Instead of running, she stuffs the little horror into her pocket. As it grows larger and eventually takes on a human shape, she decides it’s finally time to teach it how to use its mouth for something other than eating.

When the System finally reboots, it lets out a digital shriek: “How in the name of God did you end up dating all the Horror Bosses?!”

Bai Yao: “You told me to ‘capture’ them, didn’t you?” The System has a total meltdown: “I meant a Game Walkthrough! I wanted you to beat the level, not seduce the literal Nightmare Lords!”

Bai Yao: “Oh… oops.”

Nearby, an unspeakable monster splits its form in half, its tent**les offering up a pile of rare treasures like a devoted puppy. It whispers, “Yao Yao… kiss me.”

Bai Yao: Well, his Favorability Meter is already maxed out. It’d be rude to stop now, wouldn’t it?